Sunset over Cabo Frio (the Cold Cape), Brazil

Sunset over Cabo Frio (the Cold Cape), Brazil
where the warm north Altantic meets the cold south Atlantic. picture (c) phil marks 2009

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Starting Out

I’m writing this as someone who has been dating online, on and off, for over 5 years now. I’m well on the wrong side of 50 years old, and since I started online dating, I’ve learned a lot about how it works and had some interesting adventures along the way. I’ve also met some great ladies, a few of whom remain close friends.

Prior to that I was fortunate in having a partner for 15 years who I do consider to have been a soulmate, although we met through a dating agency when it was all done by snail mail and not email! We’re still good friends too.

I guess that good 15 years has coloured my view somewhat, as I know what a great relationship can be, and therefore my expectations may be too high.

Anyway, if you are just starting out on the internet dating trail, then perhaps I can give you some guidance about the process. Specifically, this article is about decoding the online profile (from a male perspective as my feminine side not that strong), and conversely maybe some of the common mistakes you might avoid in your own profile. I can speak about this because my good lady friends have told me about some of their experiences and disappointments.

We start from the premise that you are an honest and straightforward person. If you are a ‘game player’ then this article is not really written for you – game playing is an approach I don’t understand and cannot therefore provide guidance on. I assume therefore that you are looking for more than a one-night stand.

Just an aside on that subject – one lady told me about going on a first date and during dinner the guy excused himself to go to the bathroom. He didn’t come back – he’d climbed out of the window! She was an attractive and pleasant lady in my eyes and she couldn’t understand what the problem could have been. So, if you are someone who can’t handle at least a couple of hours on a date and exit gracefully on good terms, then you perhaps need to consider how you would handle such a situation.

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