What A Woman Must Have In Her Online Dating Profile - Part 2

This is the second post in a four part series of articles about a lady's online dating profile. Remember that there may be hidden messages in what you write, and you may not always be aware of them. So...

A concise and appropriate online dating profile is essential for a woman if you are to avoid giving out inappropriate messages and wasting time on hopeless dates and emails with unsuitable men. This is the second in a series of articles about getting the profile right, and discusses how to develop a description of her ideal man.

The first thing, obviously, is to be realistic, and not set your sights too high.

Talk to your Close Friends

Discuss it with your close friends and seek their view - they may provide you with surprising ideas about the type of man they think is right for you. This can be very useful, especially if they knew your previous partner (if any).

What Type of Person are you Really Looking For?

Think about the type of person you are looking for and find eight or ten key words or phrases which describe that person. These phrases should be both positive and negative. For example, steady, loyal, loving, money not important though it helps, must have his own hair, cuddly, like dancing and pets, no gamblers or heavy drinkers.

Use your past relationship(s) as a guide - what was good and what was bad - this is where talking to a friend or friends can help as they may see aspects that you are not aware of.

Although most sites will have sections which cover smoking, drinking, interests, music, food and so on, if any of these are particularly important to you, then your list should include them to emphasise the point.

For example, you may like to dance, but there is a difference between 'ticking the Dancing Box' under Interests, and the fact that you go to Line Dancing 3 nights a week. If Dancing is that important to you then you need to bring it out, and suggest that the man you seek will be a Line Dancing fanatic. On the other hand of course, you may be doing 3 nights a week of line dancing to fill in your evenings until a man comes along. So, be clear about what you want and make it clear in your description of the man you seek. Avoid the Same Mistake Again

If you have been in a difficult relationship in the past, do remember that there is a tendency for many women to be attracted to features they recognise. If these features were not healthy for you or your relationship then make it clear in your profile that these features are unattractive (for example, heavy gambling or drinking). Obviously, saying that you are not seeking someone violent is not easy to put into words, but there are ways of doing it, such as:

'I have been in a physically(/verbally) abusive relationship in the past, and what I am looking for now is a tender and affectionate man who treats ladies as ladies and knows how to demonstrate love'.

This will not filter out all abusive men, but will narrow down the field considerably.

So, be aware of this risk and make sure you eliminate such people at this early stage.

In summary then, be clear in your mind what's important to you in the man you seek, and say so clearly in your online dating profile.

(c) 2010 Phil Marks

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