Sunset over Cabo Frio (the Cold Cape), Brazil

Sunset over Cabo Frio (the Cold Cape), Brazil
where the warm north Altantic meets the cold south Atlantic. picture (c) phil marks 2009

Monday, 25 January 2010

Turn-ons and Turn-offs

For me, these are fascinating topics. It’s probably ok if something which you like – e.g. skinny dipping – does not appear under the ‘Turn Ons’ heading, as long as it does not appear under the ‘Turn Offs’ heading. However, some ladies have low self esteem in regard of body shape (in many cases without justification). And I have been told that the same applies to men...

Tattoos frequently appear under the ladies’ ‘Turn Offs’ heading, so if you have tattoos then you will need to work out a way of handling that in your profile or narrative. There are obvious issues about location and ex-girlfriends names, but generally honesty is the best policy. After all, when you were a young rating in the Navy, everyone had them done. That was a long time ago, you’ve grown up since then and when you’ve got some spare cash then you are planning to have them removed. Well, it’s true isn’t it (or at least the last part is)? If though, tattoos are a serious interest as body art for you, then you are probably seeking a dating site with that orientation.

Tattoos are increasingly visible on ladies, as are piercings. Piercings are not at unusal on men either, though there's only one I'd have done and that would be for rounding Cape Horn - a gold earring on the ear which was nearest the Horn on rounding. One day maybe! Depending which way round I went though, it could be incorrectly indicative of my sexual orientation. I'll have to think about. Maybe one on each ear to confuse the issue!

Many ladies have ‘showing affection in public’ as a ‘Turn On’ in their profile. This could be an issue for some men, so you’ll need to consider this if it’s a difficulty for you. A few ladies don’t mention it, and I’ve only known one for whom it was a ‘Turn Off’. It turned out that this lady suffered from Asperger’s Syndrome, and she hadn’t connected the two facts until I suggested it to her.

Some ladies are confident enough to list ‘Erotica’ as a ‘Turn On’. I avoid it in my own profile as I think it could be seen in a negative light. I leave it as an item to be explored later.

Wealth and Power appear about 50/50 as ‘Turn Offs’ and ‘Turn Ons’ in my experience of female profiles. I do know that there are guys who misrepresent their financial status, but like everything else in a profile, the truth will out eventually.

(c) 2009-10 Phil Marks


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